Updated: May 12
Self-belief is possibly one of the most important factors when it comes to happiness and fulfilment, it may not seem easy to become a self-believer, which is why we have the steps to take below.
For some, self-belief is something you develop when you are young, for others self-belief just comes naturally. The truth is, it actually comes through many different circumstances lie choices, opportunities and love.
If you do not believe in yourself or feel you have lost some, it's time to get it back.
The reasons self-belief is vital to a happy life
The name itself is pretty self-explanatory, essentially meaning a person can do whatever they want if they believe in themselves enough. Self-belief affects many aspects of someone's life, including their lifestyle choices.
If someone lacks self-belief they will always settle for much less than they deserve. A non-believer will take a hit from life and sit down whilst accepting their loss. However, when it comes to a true self-believer they will stand up and kick back because they know their worth and value.
There are many examples of someone who doesn't believe in themselves when it comes to life, for example, they could be starting a business doing something they really love, but the people around this person do not believe in the person's ideas. Therefore this person will give up on the dream because they haven't currently got the self-belief to fight back, they simply don't value themselves enough.
The main benefits of having self-belief will allow people to discover what their talents are and why they are special
Why is it people lack self-belief?
There are many reasons a lot of people struggle to believe in themselves. Firstly, when life does what it does best and throws many obstacles our way, we either dodge them or take them. Over time some people have a bad time with this and assume they have everything against them.
In order to regain some self-belief, breaking down the situation that made you lose it will help you learn to overcome it.
Some really common causes of self-belief are here:
For many we do not choose where we grow up or live as a child, therefore growing up in an unhappy home or environment can immensely reduce a person's self-belief. Especially for those who are treated badly by their siblings, this will influence the way you look at yourself.
Children who live in homes where their parents or guardians do not recognise or congratulate them will most probably end up lacking huge confidence in themselves, this does not mean they will never be confident again.
Surrounding yourself with people who do not believe in you or who put you down constantly will of course only lead to one thing.
It's almost like the saying ''you are what you eat". If you have a group of friends who bring you down and make you feel low then you will feel low, and on the other hand, if you have a group of friends who push your confidence and support you then you will become more confident, it's as simple as that.
Upsetting past experiences
The past does come back to haunt us in one way or another. There are situations where in the past some upsetting things have happened which will have a detrimental effect on your self-belief and confidence. Sometimes the lack of self-belief will make a person feel completely unworthy of their goals. This being said once again, there are always ways around this and possibilities to regain self-belief.
We tend to doubt our abilities when we made mistakes or bad decisions in general. Sometimes a decision we make can have some really negative consequences that can affect both us and others around us.
Humans naturally link bad decisions to failure and we link failure to disappointment when really, failure is nothing but a learning curve which helps us grow. Bad decisions do happen, but those who lose a lot of self-belief are those who believe they made too many bad decisions, which becomes a vicious circle.
Negative thinking is just like the law of attraction if you constantly have it on your mind, those thoughts will shape your life. If you think negative you will see negative it's as simple as that. If you go into life and situations thinking the worst possible outcome then that is what you shall achieve. Imagine, going into a football game really worried you will injure your ankle, the thought keeps repeating itself in your head, the outcome will be injuring your ankle, that's just how things go. So it's time to change the thought process.
How to regain self-belief
The beauty of having a life coach is that they will spot where you're lacking in general, which means creating a strategy to overcome the difficulties holding you back from believing in yourself. Before you hire a life coach take a look at these ways to regain self-belief.
Be who you want to be
The first step is to be who you want to be, or at least try to understand it. There are questions we must ask ourselves, such as, what am I working towards? What does the best version of myself look like? What makes me feel good?
Lists are a good idea, write down everything or anything you want in life, because let's be honest, if you really want it then it's yours. Any big dream is built up of thousands of mini-steps and daily habits, and self-belief will slowly come if you're working towards something. There will be hard times when the negative thoughts hit home, but it's important to bin them, smother the thoughts in positive energy.
Self-affirmation is vital
Reinforcing self-belief is hard but vital to moving forward. If you see yourself in a certain way then you will act that way. Let's say you see yourself being the most charismatic person in the UK, then you will probably behave that way.
Affirmations will build an image of you, the image you want to have, they must be positive and doing so they will get rid of any self-doubt.
A good way to do this is by writing down something positive every morning and reading it out loud.
Do things that scare you
One of the most powerful ways to develop confidence and self-belief is by challenging your body and your mind. When we do so, we are showing ourselves that we are worthy and we can achieve something difficult.
The self-doubt you have inside has a root, you must find the root in order to fix the problem. If most of your self-doubt comes from what your friends think of you, then confront them in a nice way and talk it over. The truth is, life never goes the way we want it exactly but it does not mean that our goals are never achieved. We must learn to take the knock backs and stand back up.
You are your biggest critic
The lack of belief that we have in ourselves comes from many factors, but the biggest factor is you. It's important to learn to sell yourself and value yourself high enough. In fact, oversell yourself, see how far you can push yourself and see what happens.
Let's say you are starting a business, there's a lot to do and a lot of uncertainty. naturally, most people will start to have many negative thoughts enter their heads telling them it won't work, or it didn't work last time so why would it work now. Fight back, the only way we grow is by making the effort to push.
As a life coach, we will show you the main reasons why you are going so hard on yourself and help overcome this problem.
Get ready to win the race
In order to win, we must train and be prepared, whether it's for a sport or just life in general. You don't go into a match or a race without any preparation that's for sure so why should you do this in life? When working towards something you love, it's a good idea to go head first, you must put the time in, throw yourself into it. Going into anything with the right attitude will fill you with confidence and help you perform much better in general.
Help those around you
Offering your help and inspiration does not just benefit them, but also you. Encouraging those around you especially close friends and family will boost their confidence and give you a reason to believe in yourself. If we offer some helpful advice to someone and it works out for them, then we have just succeeded in making someone successful. There's no better feeling than being appreciated for having helped someone.
In fact for a lot of people they dedicate their lives to helping others, and doing so they become extremely fulfilled and gain true self-belief.
Take good care of yourself
We are not machines, even the most positive people with more self-belief than you can imagine struggles at times. These people understand that in order to maintain such good energy they must look after themselves properly. This actually means taking care of our body, our nutrition and our emotions.
We can self indulge now and then in treats, a nice night in with a takeaway, or a trip to the country club for a spa session. Whatever it takes, do it, rest your body and clear your mind, it does a world of good for boosting confidence.
Delete the negativity
The friends that make you feel low and unworthy must go. Regaining any part of your self-confidence also means making cuts, cutting out people who no longer inspire you or push you up.
If it's someone you can't remove easily from your life then it's maybe time to communicate with them, let them know the page you are on and how you feel about their negative energy because who knows maybe you could be helping them.