Updated: Apr 28
Things don't always go our way, in fact, we are always in the firing line for things to go wrong but that's not so bad, we have ways of support.
When things don't go your way, it's vital you take back control of your emotions and body. Regulate how you breathe, try breathing in through your nose and hold it in for a few seconds at least. This exercise will help you regain clarity and more importantly calm you down.
Put it into context
Put the news or situation into real context, as bad as it may feel, is it truly the end of the world? The truth is that it does hurt, as humans we don't take it lightly but when things that happen like this occur, we can simply remind ourselves of all the good things we have in our lives to this day. No matter how bad your day has become, it is not nearly as bad as some people's lives, which we should remind ourselves a lot more often, what we have is usually x100 more than most, we just don't know it.
Negative visualisation is a good technique when it comes to bad news, it's a way of comparing the size of the problem against something much worse. It's something that puts the situation into perspective and also enables you to think clearly about the problem. The outcome of whatever you're experiencing is probably blown out of proportion, this is what the brain does in order to protect you.
The Transformation from bad to good
The Founder Sam Neame lives by this, by transforming bad news into something positive or maybe something that has more positive aspects than bad is a truly brilliant way of solving the problem. Bad things will always happen, whether it's job loss, loss of a family member or friend, injury etc. So in order to have a bit of power of this, you can actually turn a negative into a positive. For example, let's say you lose your job, it probably seems awful at the time, but now you have time to discover what you really love, you have time to see your family, you have the option to have lunch whenever you want and the option to search for something even better. The truth is, it's not always easy to see both sides, but if you learn and try even now and then, it will change the way you deal with negative times.
Looking after your body
A calm mind helps to deal with things we struggle with, but in order to do so, it helps if your physical well being is also looked after properly. We are machines so we must take care of ourselves, and this means feeding our bodies with the right nutrients and getting a decent amount of sleep is a good start. To maintain a healthy body you don't have to be a gym freak, as long as you are getting fresh air and exercise you will see the benefits. A few powerful examples of doing light exercise :
Personal examples from Sam Neame
Let's look at a few examples. Today my flight home to Toulouse to see my friends and family was cancelled due to storm Ciara currently blowing down fences in England. My friends and families first words were, '' OH no I can't believe it, what a joke, what are you going to do, trust this to happen ''. It's funny because my genuine first thought was, "oh well I'll fly tomorrow and today my nan and I can take a drive into the countryside of Kent. Now the beauty of doing so is that the news doesn't control me or affect my day in any way. Instead, I ended up having a lovely day out, with family and tasty lunches. Every single situation is what you make it.
My friend lost her job the other day, she said it was the worst news she could have imagined, she had been there for 3 years serving pints. I sat her down and showed her how to turn this around in her favour. Why was this a blessing in disguise? she now had change which is something all humans need to deal with. She was also now open to so many more opportunities instead of doing the comfortable thing day in day out, she was exposed to a potential career change, by this I mean she decided to travel and work abroad for a year which will, in the long run, benefit her in so many ways you would not believe.
Remember, when something you didn't want or expect to happen, it's how you deal with it, you can control how it affects you, turn it around into your favour and you will no longer be anxious from uncertainty.
MY FRENCH COACH | SAM NEAME