Updated: May 23
Let's be honest, caring about what others think of us can be tough, whether we accept it or not, but honestly, it can be difficult so we have the tips you need.
Why on earth do we care what others think? But really, why? So firstly, as humans we are built by the validation system, we are created to achieve approval as a survival instinct. A good way to look at the validation process would mean that as soon as we do something different which is not approved then we are left for dead.
Naturally, the more popular someone becomes, the journey to success will appear easier because they are being validated after each leap the take, which creates some sort of inner drive to do more seeing the odds are on our side. To be quite honest, this is the main reasons people's dreams tend to die, because being different or doing something others do not agree or validate is a big risk.
So what now? How do we not let other people's opinions affect how we act and feel?
The way other people think of you reflects more of them and not you
One of the most interesting reasons people may look at you in a negative or judgemental way is in fact because they see a reflection of themselves. The art of perception is very very powerful, and what other people can see in you is more of what they see or lack in themselves.
If we receive judgement and negative feelings from someone else, all this most probably is, is some kind of stored up aggression this person has from a certain area of their life, and they are now using you to help let it out.
You will not be everyone's taste
A major part of feeling happy and accepting of your actions and choices is by letting what others think to go straight over your head. The bitter truth is, no matter how perfect, nice, or intelligent you are, there will always be someone out there trying to knock you off your pedestal. Look at Michael Jordan in the last dance series on Netflix, he is someone everyone quite literally looks up to. During his career, he quite literally didn't put a foot wrong, but still, he received a lot of hate for gambling every now and then. Every human being these days is so much more complicated than before, so if you are going to try and adapt yourself to each person, good luck.
The day you stop acting yourself is when the opportunity that matches the real you passes by and doesn't even take a glance at you, so never change.
Be honest with yourself
You may have heard your parents or family tell you "Always be yourself no matter what". Well, this could not be more relevant. Pleasing other people or being disliked actually has nothing to do with you, it's to do with them or their taste in people.
Being your true self every day will mean many will love you and many will hate you. Which means you will suddenly open yourself up to the right kind of person you need in your life. By simply being your true self you will be attracting the right person for your lifestyle type, it's that easy. The hardest part of doing this is accepting you will have to lose some to win some.
Do people actually know you?
A lot of the time, especially in our day and age there are so many more influences that gives people preconceived ideas about you. For example, someone may know of you but they do not know you at all and have a strong opinion. We are all entitled to our own opinions of course, especially because of social media, this lets people draw up a picture of you in their head.
The way someone looks and perceives you are actually tailored by the way they were taught, from their parents, friends, teachers, role models. Just remember when this is happening to you, that whatever it is you are doing is the way it should be done.
Listen to what your gut says
A good idea to understanding why we think so many people think badly of us is to highlight the negativity of our society. We are technically built to do what we surround ourself with, so if all we take in is negative news and thoughts, then that is what we will project.
In our day and age, the obstacle we live with is definitely comparison, which can actually be really tough. We compare our lives to friends, to people on Instagram and many others. Put it into perspective, would you really change the way you are or the way you live if you didn't know anything about these other people?
Keep the opinions on the down-low
Just like the way others judge you, it's easy to simply judge others on a glance. As humans, we are seriously nosy and it can become very unhealthy. We like to judge and make judgements on people we don't actually know. If we see a person in the train eating Mcdonalds we may assume they don't take care of their body, when really they have probably earnt it.
Learning to stay in our own heads and move forward without glancing and commenting too much is a very healthy way to live.
You and your life are unique
You really are unique so be sure to remind yourself of this every day. You are living your life, you have done things others haven't, you have seen things others haven't too. It's not actually possible to compare yourself to someone else, as we are all so unique, it wouldn't be possible. So don't let the things that can't be changed effect your mood and concentrate on who you are.
Positive thinking goes far
When we find ourselves overthinking isn't it funny to notice that it's normally negative. The unfortunate act of overthinking as many may know is creating problems that are not actually there a lot of the time. So if you find yourself starting to overthink then cut it out with different exercises like sport, writing a list or cooking for example. If something is that wrong you will know about it, so don't let thoughts that can be changed with positive thinking to grate on your mood.
6 Steps on enhancing your unique self
What do you live for in the world? (family, success, friends).
Cut out the negatives and bring in the people who like you for you.
Cut down on the negative media.
Take a break from Instagram.
Stop comparing when you're incomparable.
Life is too short, remember that.
MY FRENCH COACH | SAM NEAME