Confidence right now could not be more important, if you're feeling like you don't have any, you may be surprised at how easy it is to get your confidence boosted.
For many, their confidence is the main drive and key to their success, whether that's financially, romantically or through being consistently happy. But there is not just an online course or service you can buy online to explain how to build self-confidence or to become confident. Confidence itself is built in many different ways, it's built through choices and achievements that you enjoy doing and more importantly, that make you feel truly happy.
When people ask "how to get the dream life" or "how to be happy" there is no quick route, nevertheless, if you do things that bring you success and happiness you are on the right track. To be clear, there are many different segments and factors that contribute, which is why if you do not enjoy what you do on a daily basis it will be a lot harder to become more confident.
Accomplish something new
Confidence is a result of success and accomplishments, if you are achieving something you consider a success on a daily basis, whether it's big or small, you're going to feel a lot better about yourself. On a day to day basis, it's a good idea to write a list of goals to achieve, whether it involves doing the laundry or sending an email this is still something to tick off the list. If you start to accomplish these small daily tasks, you will then soon start to accomplish monthly goals and then annual goals. Big changes do not just happen, and this is the reason it is a good idea to accomplish small tasks every day to strengthen the discipline behind finishing projects and tasks.
Check your progress
Big goals do not just happen overnight, so don't be so hard on yourself. Break down big goals into smaller goals and keep checking on your progress. Think of it this way, you don't just ride a bike as a kid, you try to bit by bit, day by day until all of the small rides add up into a big ride with no accident. You could be trying to find a better job, get into a good university, create your own business or become an athlete, the best way to achieve these huge goals is day by day starting small. Checking your progress towards any goal will psychologically show you that there's effort being made which brings you closer to success, and of course, closer to gaining self-confidence.
Do what is for the best
Many confident people have worked hard to become this confident, it all comes down to value, how much they value themselves will show how confident they really are. But, with value there are decisions to be made, sometimes tough decisions have to happen, and confident people pride themselves on their decisions as they define their character. A good tip on making good decisions and becoming more confident is to ask yourself in situations of uncertainty, "what would the ultimate version of myself do" and live by this. Making these decisions to be the best version of yourself will mean you can look at how you have dealt with situations and be proud, this is vital to becoming more confident.
Exercise is key
Apart from keeping your health at a good level, exercising does a lot more than you may think. Not only does it help your memory, but it also improves your focus and relieves what we hate the most, Depression and anxiety. Doing regular exercise will clear your mind, but it will also get rid of the excess energy you would most probably use to become stressed and anxious. Exercise is good for your appearance as well as your mind, it offers a brilliant confidence boost when noticing physical results. As we enter our 6th week into lockdown, many are doing home workouts, try working out with resistance bands as they are extremely low impact and offer huge results if used properly.
Why failure is good
Failing at something or anything is not nearly as bad as it sounds, it's the thought of failing that scares us as humans. We are built to fear failing tests, to failing in business and in relationships. The art of failing is a mindset, if you can look at a situation and tell yourself if you fail in this scenario it will be a learning curve and not a life or death situation then you will feel much better in yourself. Imagine, you fail your driving test and that's it, you never try again and so you will never drive again. Study the outcome, is it really that bad? No, it is not, so keep on pushing, every time we fail we learn, every time we learn we grow, and every time we grow we succeed and accomplish which is the art of becoming confident. Failure is your key to winning so learn to enjoy it, tell yourself if you fail and try again you're making strides to gaining self-esteem and self-confidence.
Be stronger than yesterday
If there is something we should all know, life is no walk in the park, every day we wake up is a day we put ourselves back out there. There are times where it is just too much, you feel stressed and low, and those are times we stand back up and push. If you're starting a project, business or goals, it's easy to be affected by negativity and self-doubt, along with many naysayers who won't believe in you simply because they don't believe in themselves. Which is already a great start, when someone doesn't believe in you it gives you a reason to push and accomplish. If you find yourself in this situation, stop, take a step back, evaluate their point and keep on pushing towards your goal.
Keep your word
In general, people who stick to their word are respected and trustworthy. So if you make a plan, or organise something then stick to it, even if you don't always feel like it, go ahead with it because more importantly, you will be respecting yourself more than anyone. This will teach yourself that you have the power to push through hard situations when you feel you cannot keep going. Just like other small habits, the more you keep your word the more respect and self-belief you will gain for yourself. In the long term, this will lead to having healthier relationships, the accomplishment of goals and stronger self-confidence.
Making short term decisions for happiness will not work for long term goals. Let's look at a few examples: If you are trying to lose weight and get fit, you can't eat out and as many calories as before, if you're trying to save more money for a house then you should cut down on your outgoings etc. All of these small decisions go towards the bigger picture which is your end goal and your confidence building. Some of these small decisions at the moment don't feel big at all, in fact, you may even ask yourself what's the point? But only afterwards when you get closer to your end goal you will see the benefits of making these small sacrifices.
Stop caring what others think
A guarantee in life is that there will always be others that do not believe in you and tell you that your goals are unrealistic, whether it's family, friends or benchwarmers (they keep the bench warm because you're the one scoring and they can't). Rejection is another one, how to handle rejection will be the making of you. When you get rejected from a job or a potential relationship, for example, you will learn and become stronger. Many will tell you the odds are against you and your goals or dreams are ridiculous, this is normal so get used to it, nevertheless, remember most people are wrong about most things, especially those who are terrified of failure. Believe in yourself and things will fall into place, and doing so your confidence levels will start to boom, step by step.
Do things you love
Take a step back, write down what you really enjoy doing in your free time. Whether it's getting outside and cycling, painting, watching films, cooking. Make room for what you enjoy and love because we need to recharge ourselves and concentrate on downtime more than ever. Remember all of the work we put into our lives every day, it gets tiring so allow yourself to recalibrate and relax.
MY FRENCH COACH | SAM NEAME