Let's check on some important habits the most confident people live by, including Sam Neame.
Confidence is a genuine game-changer, it helps you make choices many wouldn't make, it keeps your head up in tough moments and being confident means you will receive more opportunities. You will realise for those looking at "how to be more confident" that this is most probably something you lack if you're reading this, and it doesn't mean you completely lack it, all this means is that you're a few reads away from optimizing your full potential.
How can I be more confident?
Some may say being confident comes naturally with looks and lifestyle, some may say that you become confident by what you learn and believe in. Maybe growing up the people around you didn't believe you could achieve a certain career or education, or that starting your own business wasn't possible. We have a very old fashion belief that being successful involves working your way up in a big company and earning more money, let us just clarify, this is not a success, this is joining the rat race and become one of many. If you're still reading this, then you are not one of the many that choose these paths.
Not feeling fully confident can usually be a temporary emotion, whether you compare yourself to others, you self-doubt yourself, you have low self-esteem, your previous relationship didn't go the way you wanted it to. These are all things life throws at us, so we get back up and try again.
Confident people believe certainly in one thing and that's themselves, which leads to a truly positive mindset. People who tend to lack confidence will most probably feel insecure and doubt their decisions. Believing in yourself is the first step to how people live their lives. It is not always easy to just suddenly believe in yourself, but it's vital to remember we are here for a reason, so embrace having the chance to learn and grow.
So what re the secret habits to being confident?
Find where you lack confidence
Finding the main source as to why you lack confidence is the best way to start. Put a finger on when you seem to self-doubt yourself and when negative emotions take over. What's the place you would like to have more confidence in? Everyone uses confidence for different reasons, for some, it's to find a better job, or to play a sport better or to succeed in interviews. So, this step is to write down on a piece of paper as to where you want to have more confidence.
Find your source of confidence
Think if you remember a time when you feel genuinely great, confident and on top of the world. This really varies so it could be anything from winning a race, asking for someone's number or being complimented on your physique, the list goes on. Once you have pin-pointed the time, try and break it down and figure out what it was. Maybe it was the people you were with, or the place, or the clothes you were wearing. The more we search for what made us feel good at that moment, the faster we can feel it again.
Be yourself you're great
One of the best tips on how to be confident is by simply being yourself, be true to yourself because that's more than enough. When we try and be someone else there's a big resistance between who you are and who you are trying to be. If we become uninterested in being ourselves, it's certain that we will lose confidence. What makes you, you? You're unique so write down how so, what do you love about yourself and remind yourself of it.
Remind yourself how smart you are
In life, we tend to always look ahead and also put a lot of emphasising on new hurdles, which is great for moving forward. But, there will come a time we need a boost and will lack self-recognition. The truth is, we can't do it all, we can't be an amazing public speaker, but we can look at what we are good at, such as eating well, investing money or being helpful to the neighbours. It's easy to criticise yourself when you are feeling low.
A good way to feel more confident is to write down what you're good at and what you have achieved. Even getting the job you're in is an achievement. So remind yourself about what you have done to get to where you are.
You're doing it right so remind yourself of this. Here are a few more reasons to remember how far we have come.
Forget comparing yourself
For the most confident people out there, comparing themselves to others is their kryptonite and it really hurts. Social media will automatically make you compare lives with others, including celebrities, athletes and the uber-rich. Lacking confidence when comparing to other people around you actually originates from the small crevice in where you think you should be and where you are currently.
A solution to stop comparing yourself to others because it's affecting your self-confidence is to compare you to you. Take a step back and see how far you have come, measure the improvement and self-achievements.
You are good enough
The honest truth is, we are all more than enough and we have genuinely come far. Instead of letting negative emotions create self-doubt, try and tell yourself out loud that you are more than good enough, do it in the mirror, it will become stuck in your head and actually become a daily habit. Daily habits that are positive tend to stick for longer so this is a huge step to becoming more confident.
Learn new skills
Confidence and learning new skills go hand in hand, along with your comfort zone. Gaining new experience in different things shows us we are capable of great things, even if it's learning how to cut your own hair or reprogramme your computer.
Every skill we learn imagine it making us slightly taller and stronger. There is a fine line of trying to learn skills and become a perfectionist, which can actually be a recipe for disaster in the long run. Allow yourself to learn and grow organically, making mistakes is all part of the gig.
Change your mindset
By changing your mental and physical state is one of the most powerful ways of feeling more confident. It's easier to think heavy negative thoughts than to think in a positive way that's for sure. But working towards a higher percentage of positive thoughts will not only make you feel better but it will also teach you that you have the power to do so, almost like a new skill which will increase your self-esteem and confidence. A few tips on how to change your mindset :
Reminding yourself of a time you feel truly confident.
Do what you think the best version of yourself would do.
Your circle of friends
There is a lot to be said when it comes to your friendship group, the people you spend time with will generally mould you into part of them. Let's say you spend time with naysayers, losers and people who are have no motivation to succeed in anything, you will simply become like them.
So if it's the confidence you're after, be sure your friendships group has some more optimistic qualities to help you achieve the life you want.
MY FRENCH COACH | SAM NEAME